Four years in waiting.Fragile voices and tensed palms trying to intersect my thoughts as I stared undeterred at the gravelled roads murmuring your last words of promise.I was slowly befriending the darkness of those shallow nights diving into the monologue of my heart with only that nostalgic Lantern to give me company- an embodiment of our togetherness whose incoherent flickers had witnessed the way I was first lost in the mystic wilderness of your eyes and you in the essence of my being. Nights when untethered light beams from lanterns transceded the darkness I thought it was you, as I caressed my locks. But I was mistaken for another time adding to the numberless times I already had. The blunt roads of my hopes had to meet an end when I finally spotted the stationary light beaking its way from that Lantern and advancing slowly. It stopped , maybe you wanted me to follow unlike the other days. Speechless emotions were blindning my judgements, nullifying my spirits as I started following it. The more I went closer, your steed slowed down.Four years and now I can finally trace the fingers carrying the same Lantern as the one I had in hand.And then you stopped, abandoned the Lantern. An uncanny pleasure pervaded me as I decoded the darkness, sensed those fingers against my waist. My conscience was under your sway. Hours from then when the flaps of my tired eyelids opened, I could hear sharp unknown voices chastising me.Those onlookers of a passing scene had a reason but I none. I am still arguing with myself that why I was a senseless victim of your mistaken masculanity? Why were you a parasite of muliebrity that night when my Lantern got extinguished?And finally when I woke you were no were to be found. Only the Lantern was lying with blood stains on its walls. The mute Witness even then of my ravaged soul burning inside that half-clad body!
( Thank you Tirthankar Sen for suggesting me such an amazing Word to write on and helping me through each hurdle.*_*)